A letter to my states

New Mexico,
You're not so bad - in that it's liveable here.  The only redeeming quality so far has been that I'm living with my husband in a home we've purchased.  It's been fun remodeling but days like today, I'm a little sick of it.  And while I enjoy making Stephen lunch in the mornings, once I get to my third load of laundry in a week I have a feeling of worthlessness.  I have no income, and while I should be enjoying the time off, chores are the only thing I can do to help from feeling like a drain on our small family.  Wasn't I meant for more than this?  2 weeks ago I was building my 2nd power plant, and today I'm reduced to laundry and making sure the lawn gets watered. I have a feeling you've plenty more to offer me but I just haven't seen it yet.  I'm hopeful. Oh but what's this about since I'm only 24 I have to pay for a drunk driving course before you'll give me a license?  Give me a break.  Your DMV (or MVD as you call it) is worse than NC's.

Texas,
Ever since some drunk tried to get into "his" (my) apartment at 1am, I haven't slept without having a panic attack at least once a night.  I jump at every sound, even during the day.  I can no longer cherish my alone time because I have a feeling I am never alone.  Texas, I don't forgive you. I had high hopes and now I'm never coming back.

Vegas,
I doubt I'll be back to live there.  But you make it hard to be content in Alamogordo.  I want you back.  I didn't realize how good I had it until I left.  Almost everyday I find something new I miss about you.

Today, I remembered how I never had to stand in line and uncomfortable amount of time to buy groceries.
Earlier this week, I missed my friends. I've spoken with 3 of them in the past week - like you're taunting me with relationships I long for.
Day 1, I miss Target.
I miss any kind night life that wasn't Chili's.
I miss my job.
I miss knowing my way around.
I miss the DMV.  No, seriously.
I miss not having to shop at Walmart.
I miss pools EVERYWHERE.
I miss having everything I could ever want within a 20 mile radius - merchandise or gyms, casinos or clubs.
I miss the feeling of safety I had there.  I know I'm theoretically in a much safer city now, but I don't feel like it.
I miss being able to entertain visitors.
I miss Chipotle - and every restaraunt that isn't Applebee's or Chili's.
I miss being able to smoke in bars/casinos (not that I did, but I enjoyed people enjoying their freedoms)
I miss having stuff to do during the day, everyday, even if it was just work 6 days/wk.
I miss feeling like I have a purpose.
I know it's been 4 months now but there is rarely a day that goes by without thoughts of you.

North Carolina - it's been real.  Even though it's a dream of ours to end up back there, I have my doubts, and you'll probably just be a vacation spot from now on.  Stephen says we will live there before our kids go to college (so they can get in-state tuition to NCSU) so there's still hope I guess.

Shoutout to you, SC, it was real while it lasted.  And IL, you were cool but way too cold.

Sincerely,

New Housewife Emma