I want to know a song can rise

I'm on the floor of my empty apartment, waiting for the movers to finish packing the truck.  Same floor, different emotions as this post.  The excitement isn't really present today.  If you look even further back in the posts, you'll see one about leaving NC.  While I am nowhere as attached to Vegas, the move is still really hard for me.  Constant tears and doubt that God will take care of me.

But then I remember - I ended up liking Vegas... a lot! I have friends, a  husband, and my own place.... win win win.  I'm just afraid of unknown.  But what is known is that I will be alright.

SO here goes the life update!
Stephen moved to New Mexico 7 days ago.
I am moving to Texas tomorrow.
Beyond that, I am afraid to say plans out loud, because I fear I'll jinx them, but the plan is for me to move to New Mexico (Alamogordo to be exact) after the job assignment.

I won't get into the whole thought process of why we decided to move apart, but I will say it is TEMPORARY and it was also a rushed decision, full of gaps that have only halfway been filled since the decision was made. Did we make the wrong choice?  I think maybe.  Time will tell.  But still my Savior loves me, and I'll be just fine.  I have to say it out loud a lot or I forget sometimes.

*****

Dear Vegas (as opposed to G-Vegas),

You surprised me.  People used to say to me, "I can't imagine living anywhere else!"  Please, I would think to myself.  You obviously haven't lived yet.  The desert is ugly.  The mob founded this city.  People weren't meant to live here.

But actually, I get it now.  You're just so.... convenient.  You're a grid system. You've got 5 Subway restaurants within a 2 mile radius of my apartment.  All grocery stores are 24 hours.  You made living selfishly so incredibly easy. And who doesn't want to live like that?

But Vegas, it is not with a heavy heart that I say farewell.  Perhaps I will come visit sometime.  I really didn't mind the summer heat, and certainly not the absence of mosquitos.  I look forward to seeing you again, but I'm ok taking a break for a while.

Bye, Vegas.

E

Tired of tires

I can't believe I used to think these were stupid!!!!

-Stephen on electric blankets

This trip has not been my first encounter with a flat tire in the dark in the middle of nowhere.  There was a time a couple years ago, 2 hours from SC and 2 hours from Raleigh, on a highway without street lights, at midnight, and my tire blew.  I think I could have changed it, but I didn't have any source of light that would allow me to even see which tire was flat.  I felt my way around each tire, and frantically waited through the music for AAA to pick up the phone.  Before they did, an officer pulled up, and changed my tire for me.  I held the flashlight.  He was black, and had braces.  He was really grumpy but I can't think of what I would have done without him that night.  My dad gave me a flashlight to keep in my car so this wouldn't happen again.

Unfortunately, you never "get used" to blowing tires in the dark in the middle of nowhere.  It's always unexpected, unpleasant, and inconvenient.  And for me, on long car rides.  So I was less than happy when it blew 55 miles into my 130 mile trip to see Stephen for one night before each of us move to different states this week.  Do you know what is 55 miles outside of Las Vegas?  Desert.  That's. It.

I called Stephen and he tried to calm me down - he later told me the story of how in Elko, NV it is so cold they leave their trucks running all day in the parking lot so it's not cold when they get into them.  My husband, the Environmentalist.  That's unrelated to the story, but folks, please don't do that.

So, I scrambled for the flashlight. But it wasn't in the console.  What had I done with it??  Shoot I took it to work.  I could visualize it in my safety vest pocket.  Stupid Emma.

I had a dying phone with a flashlight app.  It would work.  I found the car jack, and even though my car was already leaning down the shoulder (it was slanted), I still jacked up the higher side of my car successfully.  Then my phone went dead.

I have a car charger, but it would take a while for the phone to charge enough to use the flashlight.  I decided to search through the console again.  While I was outside, God had put it back in there.  Praise Him.  I have absolutely no other explanation.

Now folks, I've actually been going to the gym this year, but I haven't really worked my arms in... well ever.  I'm lucky to lift my carry-on luggage all the way up in the overhead compartments.  So loosening lug nuts was a challenge.  I began standing on the thing you use to loosen them (lug wrench? whatever) and nothing happened!  Then I began bouncing up and down, trying to loosen those stupid lug nuts... not really thinking that if I fell backwards, I would have been roadkill (speed limit was 75mph!).  But I actually got them all off!

And then, after I did the hard part, people pulled up and helped me. Very sweet.  Even gave me their phone number in case I had any more trouble.

Do you know how long you can drive on a donut?  I don't, but I had already gone 60 miles...  I didn't want to make the whole trip home on them too!  And, I have stupid weird size sports tires.  I went through the same thing with my last car. YOU HAVE TO ORDER THEM, NOWHERE STOCKS THEM.  There were 3 places open on Sunday in St. George - the first 2 were no dice.  And the 3rd happened to have TWO in stock.  It's like God is following me around with a big sack like Santa, just constantly handing me gifts.

Just another example of how God takes care of us.  In Stephen's words, "I can't wait to spend many more years of these situations with you!" ... I'm choosing to take that in the sweet "I want to help you" way and not the "I want to laugh at all these situations that happen to you!" kind of way.  Because there was a lot of laughing going on!  :) 

I retract my whining

Well, perhaps I was too tired to be whining last night.  I apologize for my ungrateful tone!  Fact is, I have a job I like, I get paid for, and so does Stephen.  No matter what happens, we'll end up living together, and we have a faithful Savior and Friend, who will give us what we need, nothing less!  I heard Laura Story's "Blessings" on the radio on the way home and was instantly humbled by her words that feels like my life lately:

                                    We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

                                  We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

So, I'm thankful.  And no matter what, I am His, and His plan for me is a masterpiece.  No more anxious tears from this girl!  Just excited for His plan to be revealed!

Eenie Meenie Minee Moe

WE'RE MARRIED!!!!

and coming soon...

WE'RE GONNA LIVE TOGETHER!!!!

Indulging my selfish theory that you're intrigued by our lives, I'll go ahead and answer your questions I'm sure you have.

1.  Where are you going to live?
     Sorry, can't let you get away with a short answer here.  I need to share the "excitement" of this roller coaster we've been on.  There are times when I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.  Stephen just laughs and tells me I'm the thrill seeker so he's surprised I'm not more excited.

In complete seriousness, this is how it goes.  The most excitement is the most recent.  Maybe it doesn't make sense to anyone else, but try to keep up.  Day 1 refers to the day we started talking about moving... sometime in December.  My last day is JANUARY 20!

Day 1: Please move to LA for a boring job
Day 8: If you move to LA we will hire your husband
Day 15: Since you don't want a boring job in LA, we're sorry to see you go (says HR)
Day 16: Site manager says no! We love you! we'll find you a better job in Texas!
Day 19: Stephen gets calls from HR asking him questions about moving for his job (no location provided)
Day 20: Are you sure about LA?  What about the east coast?
Day 20 afternoon: Maybe we'll extend you to the end of the month here in Vegas.
Day 21 morning: Sorry, Texas won't work out.  What about middle of nowhere, Tennessee?
Day 21 afternoon: I think Texas will work out, let's talk in my office on Day 23.
Day 21 later:  Stephen gets told he is ready to be promoted (still no location!)

HOW IS THIS HAPPENING.  Seriously, we wait for NINE MONTHS for Stephen to get promoted, and they have to choose the EXACT WEEKEND I have to make a decision on my job?! This is unreal.  Am I supposed to laugh? To cry?  Crack under stress?  I don't know.  I don't want to think about it, but how can you STOP thinking about it?  Whatever.  I'm going to bed.